Monday, October 2, 2017

"Trials of Modern Matchmaking"/ "Lessons from online"


Apr. 6, 2015 “Trials of Modern Matchmaking”: I cut out this article by Maggie Wrobel in the Globe and Mail on Sept. 6, 2013.  There was a second big article by Amberly McAteer called “Maybe it wasn’t the Internet’s fault that I had failed- but my own”, but I couldn’t find it.  I can only find her online dating tips that was part of the article. 

Here is Wrobel’s article “Suddenly I’m dating, like a real dater!”:

Sofi Papamarko remembers the moment she decided to become a matchmaker.

It happened while watching a friend dance to a Tina Turner song at a birthday party last spring. “I realized that someone I knew would absolutely love her, and I connected them a few days later as an experiment,” the 33-year-old Toronto resident recalls. “I wanted to see if my intuition was right.”

It was. She drew up a business plan for Friend of a Friend Matchmaking the day after the couple’s successful first date.

Her goal: offering personalized, affordable matchmaking for people like, well, her – “artists, writers, musicians, students.” While many matchmaking services run upward of thousands of dollars, $99 gets you six months and two matches from Papamarko’s roster, which includes approximately 200 singles. Her approach is personal, and thus, miles away from the murky world of online dating. She meets and talks extensively with each person that signs up, and draws connections between potential matches.

I decide to try the service to get myself out of a sort of personal dry spell. I’m 32 and after several years of focusing on my high-pressure career, I’ve been left with a string of hookups with guys that, for one reason or another, just didn’t stick. The Friend of a Friend approach appeals to me, both as a busy professional who doesn’t always have time to manhunt, and as someone who is horrified by the needle-in-a-haystack vibe of looking for love on a dating site.

The first step is filling out a lengthy survey with questions like, “What is your worst habit?” As a chatty Gemini, I am comfortable talking about myself, so explaining what I’m all about is no problem. Where I do stumble is on the questions that ask what I’m looking for in a man, something, I realize, I haven’t thought about in a long time. I send off the finished survey and set up the second part of the FOAF process – a one-on-one meeting with my yenta.

With her pin-up girl bangs and huge warm smile, Papamarko is a disarming presence. As she sips peppermint tea and I nurse a much-needed pint of beer, I find myself in tears telling her about two recent heartbreaks. The conversation isn’t easy, with Papamarko grilling me about what went wrong and why, but it’s enormously cathartic, and by the time we talk about what I’m looking for, it’s a lot easier to answer that question. For the purposes of my deadline, Papamarko forwards me the names, ages and tweet-length mini bios of three bachelors within 48 hours of our meeting. She introduces me to each prospective suitor via e-mail by sending us a joint note, and we are left to take it from there. Suddenly I have three dates where there were none. Sweet.

The first date is the scariest, partly because I’m rusty at dating and partly because we decide to go bowling. Mike is a 39-year-old comedian and actor who is clearly comfortable in the spotlight. He outbowls me easily, and confesses that he has spent some time practising his form while performing on cruise ships. While this isn’t a love connection, Mike is fun, easy to talk to and a gentleman. The experience leaves me encouraged, and much less nervous, for my two remaining dates.

The next one is a cocktail date at a bar that is probably too hip for me with a guy who, at first look, seems too cool for me as well. Corey is handsome, sharply dressed in a vest and tie, and quick-witted in the manner of Jimmy Fallon. We talk for five hours before grudgingly admitting that, seeing as it’s Tuesday night, we should probably part ways. He texts me the next day, and we make plans to see each other again. Suddenly I’m dating, like a real dater!

My meet-up with bachelor No. 3 is another first: a daytime lunch on a workday. A 28-year-old advertiser and filmmaker, Cam is tall and affable, but he reminds me of my brother, and our outing has an immediate platonic vibe.

Looking back on the three dates, I realize the experience has been not only painless, but actually fun. I enjoyed meeting new people – especially straight men, each of whom I had at least one thing in common with. Papamarko’s involvement took a lot of anxiety out of the equation, which allowed me to concentrate on whether I was having a good time, possibly the most important thing to think about when you’re starting something new.

That weekend, Corey and I go out again and have another five-hour conversation that feels like five minutes. A few days later, I reach out to Papamarko one more time and ask her what made her match me with each of the three men. Her explainers range from “you mentioned your crush on Louis CK” to “you both work in media.” She’s curious about my perceptions of the dates, and I kind of want to dish to her over martinis, but have to remind myself that she’s not an actual pal, though after the experience, she feels like one. At the end of the day, this was a business transaction. But a solid investment, it’s safe to say.


“Lessons from online”: by Amberly McAtter.

Never ask about online dating experiences on a first date

There are only mood-killing answers to “How is the site treating you?” It’s the digital equivalent to talking about exes.  It’s weird, and shouldn’t be discussed until you’re both talking about online dating as a thing of the past.

Don’t be overeager

This isn’t Facebook: People can see that you’ve viewed their profile six times in four hours. Wait patiently for a response, and don’t respond immediately to an interested person. Give the appearance – just a little – that you’re not spending every waking moment on this thing.

Digital winking or waving or smiling is for losers

You’re already behind a keyboard, there’s no need to be coy. Say something. If a profile grabs your attention, message that person with something that shows you’ve made it past their photos.

Two at a time

Internet dating has a tendency to turn people into playing cards, where there’s always a full deck and options to trade. If you’re there to find a relationship, I recommend only really talking and arranging dates with two people at a time. Don’t get so embedded in the “scene” that you wouldn’t recognize a perfect match.

Write your profile in a text-editing application

Do a basic spelling and grammar check. You can be a beautiful, tall, successful man – but if you can’t spell, we’re done here.

This above all: Do not lie in your profile

My first impression on dozens of first dates has often been “you dirty liar,” which is never good. If you need a translator to communicate, fancy wearing tie-dyed shirts to swanky restaurants or want children so desperately you’re asking about baby names before the appetizer arrives – please, own it in your profile. There will be someone who loves that, too, and it will be magical.

My week:

Sept. 26, 2017: One company called me last week.  I called back and left a few messages.  Today they called me and said the position was filled.

How to get a job: My co-worker G at my 1st restaurant job has like engineering and computer science at NAIT.  He got a contract job for the govt. at NAIT.  He says it was through his education and his networking of talking to the people at the school.

1. Education
2. Networking

Medical clinic job interview: Last week I did an interview.  

Pros:

1. It was easy to get to, 2 buses that come by frequently.

2. Good pay of $14/hr.

3. The duties: I can work on the phones and schedule appointments.

Cons: None.

My opinion: I would work there if I got hired.  I read a Monster job article and it says to send a thank you note after an interview.  I emailed her the note.  I got an email saying they hired someone else.


Kiss reunites for Harvey relief:

Original Kiss members Gene Simmons and Ace Frehley have reunited for their first public appearance since their group was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2014. But unlike that terse ceremony, the Star Tribune reports, they came to St. Paul’s CHS field to play Wednesday night in their first show together in 16 years. The event was a benefit for hurricane relief Simmons helped organize for the Minnesota-based charity Matter.ngo. The non-profit focuses on feeding and aiding children worldwide, but after Harvey struck Texas in late August, the concert’s theme turned to assistance for Houston and surrounding areas. Frehley took the stage about three-fourths of the way into Simmons’ set, then tore into Cold Gin and Shock Me before the finale Rock and Roll All Nite.

https://www.pressreader.com/canada/ottawa-citizen/20170922/282471414043390

Sept. 27, 2017 Preferred Personnel of Canada Inc:

I was going through my Monster emails job alerts and I found this.  It's for nannies.

http://www.preferrednannies.com/

Filmmakers meetup: Today I went to work and decided to go to the meetup.  I was at the west end and rode the #4 Capilano to get to Whyte Ave in 40 min.  

There was only 1 person S, the creator of the meetup there.  We talked for 5 min. and about the Feb. film screening.

I went there because:

1. I missed the last 2 meetings.  I had to miss it because of work, and the other time because I was tired from work.

2. The weather was nice and warm.  When it gets colder, I'm not going out unless it's for a fun event.

Sept. 28, 2017 Job search complaint: I need to write about it to deal with it.  In the morning, I got a call from a hair salon to do a job interview.  I told him I was on my way to work and I will call him back after work at 6pm.  At 6pm I called him from my work phone and left a message with my name and cell number.  

He called back the work phone and my manager texted me that he called me.  I was playing telephone tag.  I then went to the Filmmakers meetup and then went home.

Today I went to work earlier than yesterday (9:30am) and got home by 5pm.  I called him and he said the position has been filled.  I'm a little annoyed that I didn't get an interview.

However, I will say the place was like 2 buses to get there.  It was a 50 min. commute.  If I remember correctly there were 2 evenings I had to work.

I am cognizant of the fact that companies can hire fast.  This happened in like 2016.  I remember I was told about this company that they're doing interviews this day, and anyone can come in on that day.  I went to work at my 2nd restaurant job and after work, I called the company to see if I can come by and do the interview.  They said they already hired someone.

Jennifer Lopez donates $1 million:


https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/25/arts/music/jennifer-lopez-donates-1-million-to-puerto-rico-relief-effort.html?mcubz=0


Clearfit- Staffing agency in Toronto:

We set out on this journey with a mission to help get the right people into the right jobs. 70% of people are in the wrong jobs and, since we spend more time working than we do doing anything else, being in the wrong job can have a major negative impact on a person.

I’ve experienced this firsthand. Despite a career that includes working with some of the best known companies in the world and a degree from Harvard, I found work mainly frustrating. That negative feeling not only affects people, it also impacts organizations that have to deal with underperformance and turnover.

Clearfit Analytics began with an idea and is spawning a movement to force us all to reimagine the way we look at people and work. Looking past what someone has done to see who they are and what they are capable of doing – to maximize their potential.
We are proud that nearly 5,000 companies and 1.5 million people have joined us on our journey so far and that number is growing everyday. We hope you will be the next to join and change the way we look at people and work forever.
signature
Jamie Schneiderman
Clearfit Analytics Founder & CEO

https://www.clearfit.com/

Ian Martin: Engineering, tech and IT professionals.

https://ianmartin.com/

Staffing agency job interview: I went to an interview this morning.  I had to fill out an application that was like 10 pages.  There was a safety quiz in it.

The interview was she asked me where I have worked, and what I really want in a career.  I wanted to work as an administrative assistant.

She says she will pass my resume to a colleague of hers.  She says I'm a good fit for this job, but she can't tell me the company's name because it's confidential.  Or the colleague will have to tell me what the company's name is.

My opinion: I have pretty low expectations if I will get this job.  I went to another staffing agency earlier this year.  I had to look it up, but I went there in Apr. 2017.  I have never gotten a call back or email from them.

Oct. 2, 2017 Highlight of my week: I watched the following pilots:

1. The Brave- good, but never watch again, because I don't really like military dramas.
2. The Good Doctor- very good, but never watch again, because I don't really like medical dramas.
3. Seal Team- good, but never watch again, because I don't really like military dramas.
4. Inhumans- average, but never watch again because I didn't really like it.
5. Alias Grace- good, but depressing.  I will record all the remaining 5 episodes and maybe watch it. 


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