anger management/ The Year of/ lessons

Jan. 19 Anger management: Lynda Albertson sent me the article "30 Blogs with the Best Self Help Advice."  One section was "Controlling your Temper." http://www.nannybabysitter.com/blog/30-blogs-with-the-best-self-help-advice/ Arguments: Here's the blog article "Anger management self- help- what are 'arguments' really about?"  The 1st part of it was "Repression creates obsession."  This line stood out for me: "Arguing becomes like a drug addiction, and like all addictions, its self-destructive in the end." The 2nd part is "How not to get sucked into an argument."  It compares arguments like a sneeze.  Let it out and it feels good.  It also has a pic "Anger is one letter short of Danger."  I have heard of that from 20/20. The 3rd part is "Release your anger in private, then approach the other."  It says scream in a pillow and then tell the person sincerely of your feelings.  Most of the time, they don't know how you feel. The conclusion is: "Anger management self help is simply coming to see what really is behind anger, NOT how to control anger. Thinking we can control life is how we got into this need for anger management self help in the first place! " It gives tips like if something you don't like occurs, say it respectfully and promptly.  Release your repressed feelings and then tell the person about it. http://www.profound-self-help.com/anger-management-self-help.html 8 tips: I read "8 Simple Anger Management Tips." #1: "Will the object of my anger matter ten years from now?" #2: "What is the worst consequence of the object of my anger?"  If a driver cuts in front of you, you made your trip a little bit longer. #3: "Imagine yourself doing the same thing."  You may have cut in front a driver too. #4: "Did that person do this to me on purpose?" #5: Try counting to ten before saying anything. #6: Counting to ten, but with deep breaths from the diaphragm. #7: Pace your numbers as you count like: " 'One-chocolate-ice-cream-two-chocolate-ice-cream', or use something else that you find either pleasant or humorous." #8: Imagine a calm experience. Jan. 24 Dadabhagwan.org: I read this article "Anger management: How to control anger?"  It has these 10 questions, and if you click on it, there are the answers. The answers are kind of New Age.  It's good, like the answer to the first question: Questioner : Would it not be considered cowardly to remain silent when someone insults you? Dadashri : Not at all, to bear an insult is a sign of great strength. If someone were to swear at me right now, I would not have a single negative thought towards him. That is strength. Here's the answer to #6: "Some people ask how they can get rid of their anger. When they tell me that they try to suppress it, I ask them whether they are trying to suppress it before or after they understand it. I tell them that they must understand anger first, because anger and peace coexist. If one fails to understand anger and tries to suppress it, he may be suppressing peace instead, so peace will die." Is anger a weakness or strength ? What is Anger ? Why is anger dangerous ? Why do people get angry? What is sulking ? How can we improve our anger issues ? I am tired being angry.How to get rid of anger ? How to remove anger from your life ? How to manage anger in relationship? How can I control my anger ? Do you want freedom from anger ?- Acquire Self Realization! 10 tips: I read "Anger management: 10 Tips to Tame your Anger." 1. Take a timeout. 2. Once you're calm, express your anger. 3. Get some exercise. 4. Think before you speak. 5. Identify possible solutions. 6. Stick with 'I' statements. 7. Don't hold a grudge. 8. Use humor to release tension. 9. Practice relaxation skills. 10. Know when to seek help. Most of these tips are like "in the moment you're angry."  I like #5 because it's about what happens afterwards and not a lot of people focus on the solutions. #7 did say: "It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want at all times." #10 did go into more details about anger management counseling: Learn what anger is Identify what triggers your anger Recognize signs that you're becoming angry Learn to respond to frustration and anger in a controlled, healthy way Explore underlying feelings, such as sadness or depression http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/anger-management/MH00102 Anger management tips: I read the article "Self-help and anger management counseling."  This is a longer article.  "On one end of the scale 'anger' gets you out of bed.  Somewhere in the middle it helps you achieve the seemingly impossible.  On the other end of the scale it kills." There is a section called "Why are you so angry?"  It then asks some good probing questions that makes you really think. http://www.professional-counselling.com/anger-management-tips.html The Year of: Let's do a flashback of 2006: The Year of Anger Management.  I was 20 yrs old.  Prior to it, I did kind of like to get my hate on by watching Maury's paternity tests.  I like watching the women say that this guy is the father and the guy denying it.  Then the results come and he is the father.  I like to see the women say: "In your face!  You are the father!" In 2005, I was starting to get sick of the show and how it's a waste of time.  So I finally quit that show, and some other trashy TV shows I watched casually like Blind Date and Cops. Then in 2006, I got laid off from my Call Centre #1 job.  It was the 4th job I ever had, and it was my favorite job ever where I get to call people to do surveys.  The company closed down and laid all of us off.  I was very angry about it. I tried to focus on the positive like how I was going to go take Professional Writing in the fall.  I was living with my parents and wasn't struggling for money.  I got a job within a week of being unemployed and worked at the Office Supply store.  I kept watching Dr. Phil though so I can direct my anger at the show, but it actually made it worse.  I had to quit after the season was over.  I was really addicted to that show. I was mainly working at the Office Supply store to bide my time until I got hired at Call Centre #2.  I worked at the store for a month, and then quit to work at Call Centre #2. I thought my anger would subside if I got another Call Centre job with a lot of people from Call Centre #1 working there too.  It was the same hours, and higher pay with $1 more an hr.  However, I still couldn't get over being laid off.  I was writing my anger out.  I then went to the doctor to discuss it.  Lessons: I did learn a lot from this Call Centre #1 lay off experience.  I learned a lot about job security, anger management, avoiding my triggers with these bad TV shows, and I don't like to get my hate on.  (As in I don't personally try to get myself angry.) The lesson has stuck.  In 2010, "The Year of Unemployment", I was unemployed for months.  I was able to deal with it. A couple of months back, I did a Google search "Staffing agencies suck" to see if there are other people who thought that.  I found a blog post about it.  There were 64 comments dissing them.  I read the first 6 comments, and then stopped.  I'm not going to get myself angry and waste time getting angry.  Do something productive.