Thursday, April 8, 2010

ADD/ struggle/ dream

Apr. 5 ADD: I was thinking about the past, and how my little brother Patrick never makes fun of me at all, unlike my sister. I remember this time back in 2002. I was watching The Simpsons where Bart gets diagnosed with ADD and takes Focusyn.

S: Hey Tracy, here's your favorite episode.
Me: No, my favorite episode is when George Bush moves across the street from the Simpsons.

One time that same year I tuned in and watched South Park with Patrick where this kid gets diagnosed with ADD. P never made a comment about me having ADD at all.

Me: Let me guess, the doctor then diagnoses the whole class with ADD.
That's what happens and then I left after that because it wasn't funny when it's predictable. If it comes on again, I'll watch it.

Job search: I'm looking to be an assistant manager at a retail store. I think I can take a step up from sales associate. I looked at Indigo.ca and the only positions available are North Town Mall and the airport. I went to gapinc.ca to look for jobs at the GAP. There was one in Edmonton.

I think I'm losing steam. I looked for a job for the past 3 days. Today I read a page of 16 and Pregnant on twop.com.

I went to Capilano mall with my mom and I passed out my resumes there. Then I went home and watched the Tyra show about teen sex survey. I think Tyra helped those girls on the show.

Banks: What's really good is that I then went and checked my email. I got an email where I got rejected from CIBC. It's where I go to Superstore and there is this pavilion there where I try to recruit grocery shoppers to sign with CIBC. That's okay.

The really good thing is that TD Bank emailed me back about being a customer service representative. They sent me these questions to answer. I then copy and pasted the questions onto Microsoft Word document, and worked on the answers for 20 min. I then sent it back to them.

Struggle: I was thinking about the first time I got a bank job, it took me 3 months to get it. That's fast, because it's not until 3 months prior to it my parents told me to do it. I really did appreciate the bank job and struggled to keep it.

It's kind of like if you don't struggle or work hard for something, you don't appreciate it as much. It took me like 9 months to get that call centre job. Now they don't give me any shifts, but I'm still keeping it because it took me a long time to get it.

I've rebooted my career search in Nov. 2009. It's been 6 months. Maybe I'll get that elusive bank job.

Mar. 6 Rant: I'm kind of annoyed. I gave the call centre my availability last week. Then they wouldn't give me any shifts this week. I was put on hold for 5 min. as I read the newspaper. My cordless phone cut out. I left a message. Then later I called back. Do you want me to beg for shifts?

Mar. 7: I have struggled. I have worked at what my dad call "garbage jobs" for 5 years before I got that bank job. A garbage job is a job where you throw it away, you can pick it back up again. It's easy to get one at a call centre, restaurant or retail. You don't need a lot of skills and there are no benefits. They don't pay really well either.

Inspiration: Yesterday I woke up, feeling stressed out because I didn't want to go to work. Then I called in sick. It was psychosomatic. I felt ill with the thought of going to work. I did do something constructive by passing out 15 resumes yesterday. As I was waiting for the bus, I met this old guy who works as a janitor at City Centre.

His name is Chase and he told me to look at the Yellow Pages for a job. He knows that I got laid off at the Soup place. He told me he has a college diploma in social work, but he's sweeping the streets. You gotta do what you gotta do to pay the bills.

Good: Today I went to work, and when I got there, I was fired. I was so happy and told the manager that I was dreading coming to work. She paid me $40 for the one day I worked. I have an job interview tomorrow.

Dream: I had a weird dream the other night. I was escorting a prisoner. He was wearing an orange jumpsuit and handcuffed at the front. My parents, and siblings, convict, and I were in the old blue van we used to have. I was wearing my purple blanket around me as usual when I watch TV or am on the computer in the basement because it's cold.

I liked the convict. I was holding his hand. I think my sister and my mom liked him too. Something about me being in college again, and doing a test.

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