Sunday, November 8, 2009

news/ analyze comedy/ crazy news

Nov. 5 News: I read in the Metro that guys like girls who laugh at their jokes. Girls like guys who make them laugh. That's interesting. I remember this time way back in 2005, I was working at Roots.

Jordan: So what do you think of that new guy (Jason)?
Me: He's cool. We worked a shift together and we talked the entire time.
J: You should go out with him.
Me (burst out laughing): Yeah right!
J: No, seriously.
Me: No.
J (stomps his foot): No, I'm serious!

Look, Jason and I didn't really click because I told him all these jokes, and he didn't laugh at any of them. Sheesh, even my sister laughs at the occassional one here and there. I guess I'm like a guy who always tries to make people laugh with these jokes I hear.

In other news, I was reading in 24 that bike messengers make 30-40 deliveries a day, and can make $150 in a day. Good money, but I don't know about respect. You're athletic to do that, and it's fun to ride a bike all day, but no one is going to say to you: "Wow, that's really good."

Cold: I had a really bad cold yesterday, but now it's gotten better. I went to work and stayed there for the whole shift. My voice is very hoarse and raspy, but I still managed to get two completes.

I was kind of in a bad mood about how there are a lot of things lost in lustre. Like how I used to like working in retail like Roots, but then didn't like Urban Planet. How I liked working in a call centre like Ipsos, but Malatest isn't that good. The pay is well above min. wage. Throw in how Tosh. O isn't that good, and Heroes isn't as good either, though I watch both of them.

James Frain: In other news, it seems this actor James Frain is making appearances everywhere. I first saw him in In Plain Sight where he's a good guy, but then turns out to be kind of shady. Then he's on Lie to Me playing a bad guy. Then I saw him on Law and Order: SVU playing a bad guy again. Of course, the biggest name guest- star is often the guy who did it.

I did get this random flashback. You know how I said I liked The Listener ep where they caught a rapist? I then remembered way back when Las Vegas came out, and I liked the ep where they caught a rapist too. Very Law and Order: SVU.

Unintentionally funny: I was watching The City with my sister, and she says: "You know, this is what The Hills is missing. Showing people at work, and having their bosses yell at them." Come to think of it, on The Hills this season, I didn't see anybody work.

Funny: Here is something that is supposed to be funny. I checked out Comedy Network, and South Park was on. They did a parody of Patrick's two favorite reality shows Whale Wars and Deadliest Catch about two boats out at sea. In the first one it's about Greenpeace trying to stop the Japanese from killing whales and dolphins.

In the second one, it's about fisherman catching fish. These two boats bump into each other out in the ocean and start a fight with each other and the Japanese.

Nov. 6 Analyze comedy: You know how I said earlier where Michael Phelps said: "I used to get picked on a lot when I was in school. Actually it's kind of funny, when I go out to dinner with my mom, the people I used to go to school with are now servers there." The audience laughs.

I am trying to write a joke. What if MP had said: "This girl used to pick on me a lot when I was in school. And then she got pregnant as a teenager, and then everybody picked on her." I don't know if the audience would laugh at that. People will want to know what happened to the baby.

If M said: "Then she got an abortion." Well abortion's not funny.
If M said: "Then she miscarried." Well that's not funny either.
If M said: "Then she kept the kid and raised it as her own. Now she lives on welfare and we're all wasting our tax money on her." That's still not funny.

I was like: "C'mon, I'm sure you've heard teen pregnancy jokes before." Yeah, there was sketch on MadTV where they had Jamie Lynn Spears appear on the Dancing with the Stars show. Arden Myrin dressed up like her, and was dancing around with a huge baby bump. Not really funny, at least to me. Or the one with comedian Daniel Tosh talking about the TV show 16 and Pregnant: "I'm sure all the episodes are shot in Utah." Well that's more of a shot at Utah than pregnant teenagers.

I just went and typed into Google "Teen pregnancy jokes" and here's a link: http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/sexjokes/teenpreg.shtml

I find it mildly funny because of the stupidity and misinformation about it. Here's a joke: "Make sure all your teachers know you are pregnant, so they will have reduced expectations for you, allowing you to skate through junior high."

Dark jokes:
I then thought about how I heard jokes about statutory rape and pedophilia and that can be funny. It's weird that you can make fun of something illegal and laugh at it. Remember the joke:

Ed the Sock: So you're 17 right?
Avril Lavigne: Yeah.
Ed: Yeah, well I guess you're a little too old for R. Kelly.

I told this joke to my friend Jessica way back in 2005. She had to cover her mouth when she was laughing at it.

Or the MadTV sketch where they made fun of Maury and his wife Connie Chung on the TV show A Moment of Truth.

Maury: When I'm with Connie, I imagine I'm really with Dakota Fanning.
The audience says: "Ohhhh."

Crazy news: I was watching 20/20 and it talked about the massacre that occurred yesterday at that military base. The killer was a military psychiatrist of Palestinian descent. There were signs that he was suicidal because he gave away all his furniture and things to this woman who lived in his apartment building.

In August he legally bought a gun. He got poor performance reviews, and he got a lawyer to try to get him out of the military. He started dressing more in his traditional religious garment. He was being bullied by the military because of his race. I would have suggested he get as much money as possible, and run away or fake his death to get out of the military. Sure, that may sound stupid, but he isn't hurting anyone that way.

They talked to this military woman Kira who had a bullet graze the top of her head. She showed that there was blood on top of of her head. The killer is in a coma at the hospital.

Nov. 7 Rihanna: The other half was about Rihanna and how she got assaulted by her boyfriend Chris Brown way back in Feb. I'm not really a fan of either of them, but I learned a lot. R did grow up with domestic violence. She saw her dad hit her mom. I did know that CB grew up seeing his stepdad hit his mom.

R didn't stay with C, because she thought about her fans and other girls would see that to go back to their boyfriends who hit them. It was kind of interesting this one part:

Diane Sawyer: You know the average statistic is that it takes a woman 7 times to leave her boyfriend for good.
R: Actually it's about 8 or 9 times.

Compound W: In other news, there is this product called Compound W that removes warts. I tried it on my finger, and it wasn't very effective. I showed this product to my doctor, and he said the same thing. I just wanted to make sure so he won't say: "Yeah, it is effective if you have a small wart" or "Stay away from that product, it makes it worse."

You guys should go to the doctor to have the wart frozen and removed. That product is like $12.99 at Shoppers Drug Mart. Not worth it. Or my sister says use duct tape on the wart. She said she got them from reading Ann Landers.

Oct. 8 Stupid criminals: I read on Yahoo that this 23- yr- old wanted criminal didn't like the Wanted pic in the newspaper of himself. He then sent the newspaper a better mug shot. They printed it. However, he still has not been found.

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